To cry or not to cry?

Dad's been in the hospital for a week, and my house and my heart are a mess. I've been going from morning until night with little time to just stop and breathe. This morning, I decided to sleep in and move more slowly before heading out to take care of business. I just need some time in my house with my dogs and my husband. Get up, make a cup of coffee, catch up on RSS feeds, and just relax.

Alas, the first thing I did after making my coffee was spill the whole thing across the kitchen floor. No! No! No! and Doesn't that just figure? were my first thoughts, but really, what good does it do to cry over spilled coffee? So, instead, I marveled at how interesting it looks pooling on the cheap linoleum...and then I mopped it up and started over.

It wants to be incorporated into a sepia stained collage.

This kind of mind shifting exercise is the only way that I can get through these dark situations without crumbling into little pieces. There's beauty in every moment, I just have to be open to it.


moif said...

I know how you feel.

I just lost my job. Twelve days after my Dad died, and one month before we can make the deal to take over his house, they let me go (the company is dying so it was kind of inevitable).

Unbelievable timing though. I'm still numb with the shock of my Dad's death. The boss even asked me how I was feeling before he told me the reason why he was asking. He then told me how hard it was have to let me go, and how he felt so bad about it. I swear he was even trying to make himself cry.

I don't know if we can persuade the bank to let us inherit my father's house now as there is a debt involved and my income will shrink to nothing after November.

One week ago I was persuaded to buy the house. Once Mette agreed I told her that only the bank could stop us now. Only the bank or if I lost my job, and then I lost my job.

Cyan said...

I'm sorry for you and Mette. Life shouldn't be this difficult, and it seems like bad things happen all at the same time. It's so hard to work through it all when you're physically and emotionally exhausted.

I hope that things will work out in your favor somehow. You deserve a break, and I'm sure the house is filled with memories for you.

I have no idea what I can do to help you, but I'm here if you need to commiserate.

moif said...

Life goes on. I know this because people keep telling me it does. Heh.

Its not all bad. A part of me is shocked that I've ended up here, but I'm also relieved that I'm free from the constraints the job was putting on me. I think I'm slightly scared of the future, but also slightly optimistic.

I just wanted to let you know that even in despair, your never really defeated. Life is up and down.